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Older Hispanic Men Line Up Excitedly For 'Breaking Dawn' Premiere

Twilight's biggest fans, older Hispanic men, have taken off of work and have been lined up for days to catch the latest installment of the ... tags: Onion Prev The73601017OnionPrevThe

Cowboys' Presumed Thanksgiving Win To Cause Nation To Vomit Up Dinners

Kenny and Doc nearly beat each other with chains over the end of the NBA lockout, Tim Tebow's terribleness, and the Astros' plan to sign ... tags: DELIVERY Onion The v02DELIVERYGOOMF204Onion

Jim And Tracy Put On Fat Suits To See What Life Is Really Like For Awful Fat People

Jim and Tracy go undercover in fat suits to find out how greedy, obnoxious, fat people are discriminated against by the public. tags: Onion ThecomedyOnionThe

Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine

Michael Falk interviews new prison inmate, disgraced financier, Brian Wasserman, and becomes spellbound by the repetitive monotony of daily ... tags: Onion ThecomedyOnionThe

Latest GOP Debate Concludes With Candidates Wrestling Squealing Pig To Ground And Slaughtering It

Bank executives place bets on which Occupy Wall Street protester will be arrested next, a churchgoer blanks on why she's lighting a votive ... tags: Onion The2011.OnionThe

Brooke Alvarez Names The One Person Who Could Compel Her To Go On "Dancing With The Stars"

Award-winning news anchor, Brooke Alvarez explains why she doesn't have time to go on a show as frivolous as 'Dancing with the Stars', but ... tags: Brooke Alvarez Onion TheBrooke AlvarezcomedyOnionThe

Brooke Alvarez Can Speak News In Any Language

One fan writes to Brooke in German, but that doesn't stump America's greatest newswoman, who's made it her business to know every language ... tags: Brooke Alvarez Onion TheBrooke AlvarezcomedyOnionThe

French Onion Green Bean Casserole Recipe - Thanksgiving Green Bean Side Dish

Learn how to make a French Onion Green Bean Casserole Recipe - Visit for the ingredients, more recipe information, ... tags: Bean Casserole chef Cooking Dish Food foodwishes

Glenn Beck Appears In Revealing Documentary About Brooke Alvarez's Childhood As Russian Cosmonaut

Brooke Alvarez's icy demeanor is finally explained in a new documentary on public television detailing her dark childhood as a Russian girl ... tags: Onion ThecomedyOnionThe